Poetry: Missing

the moon is close
to being full again
today is the nine-month
anniversary
of my stroke
I’m still struggling
to walk
further in the wetlands
than
we have
ever gone
open water
a waterfall
of birdsong
then silence
a wash of light
pale yellow
on the foothills
almost white
we haven’t seen
the great
blue heron in weeks
or the kingfisher
who perches
above the scuzzy pond
I’m concerned
that the feeling
in my right foot
won’t return
the russian sage
is finally blooming
a spray of fuzzy
purple blossoms
a secret patch
of yellow aspen
glows
on the high
slope
This poem appears in Shanan Ballam’s recent collection, “first poems after the stroke,” written after a medical event left her without speech and the use of the right side of her body. She is the poet laureate of Logan, Utah, and a senior lecturer at Utah State University.
This story appears in the November 2024 issue of Deseret Magazine. Learn more about how to subscribe.